dear cigarettes (particularly u.s.a. gold full flavors),

remember my dears when you were just $1.77 a pack? when i was in high school. and worked at drug mart. and would put my loose change towards you rather then buy food for break at work. remember those virginia slim 120s that i would cheat on you with occasionally when taking my breaks with the older women i worked with there? remember that corn cob pipe i bought when i turned 18 and smoked for like no time at all cause it was odd and not that great??

yeah, i have said that famous brokeback mountain line "i wish i could quit you" to you many a time. and i have. sometimes for months at a time. but i keep coming back to your sick sweetness.
i can say at least i don't smoke two-ish packs like i used to back at antioch or all those nasty cigars i smoked just as frequently in high school. yucks-ville. my lungs were pissed at me then.

perhaps one day....i will quit you for good. but something gets me thinking that i will always enjoy you occasionally. after a cup of coffee. after a big meal. whilst drinking.
i wish i could say i don't see you in my future, but that doesn't feel true. maybe i will wise up one day. get real and drop you like the addiction you are. but for now, sweet sweet cigarettes, you are one of my few vices. and such a dear satisfying vice you are.

as oscar wilde said: "a cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. it is exquisite and it leaves one unsatisfied. what more can one want?"

semi-regretfully,
lesley